The last few days haven’t been too bad, been really tired in the evenings though.
Managed to sit in the garden today for half an hour! Very good for me, really enjoyed the sunshine.
I was so happy and relived on that day to finally have a name for what was going on, that I didn’t stop and appreciate that magnitude of what had happened.
It’s similar actually, to when I got put on antidepressants at the start of my illness. All the tests I had done had come back all clear, and so the doctors decided that I was depressed and that was why I felt so ill. I got asked if I wanted to be put on medication, and I immediately said yes, because I thought that would fix all my problems.
I guess that’s just my personality, I’m so eager to solve a problem I jump right in without knowing the full consequences of my actions.
And here I am, 2 years later, no better than when I got diagnosed. If anything I’m actually worse. No that’s not quite true actually. Physically I’m worse. Mentally I’m much better; I’m stronger, less depressed, more happy in myself than I ever have been. So that’s a good thing.
I actually feel as if I’ve come in a full circle. After I first got diagnosed there was a period of about 6 months where I greatly improved. Then I did too much too fast (tried to go back to university), had a huge setback, and I’ve never recovered back to that level since. However I feel like I’m on an even keel at the moment, which is a good starting point for improvement.
Onwards and (hopefully) upwards. Until next time. Rhosyn.