I’ve been absent for a whole week now! Sorry about that, it wasn’t intentional. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been busy doing lots of things, but sadly that’s not true.
I did manage to go with my parents to visit my grandparents on Monday for a couple of hours, which was nice, but other than that I’ve been stuck in bed in a “bad phase.” I can almost hear you thinking “I swear she’s always in a bad phase”, I know…and I agree with you. I didn’t leave my bed on Tuesday. Wednesday was a bit better, I managed to shower, which although completely exhausting, does make me feel much less gross! haha.
Yesterday was an important day. It was the last “group session” of the M.E. clinic that I had to go to do. To say I’m glad it’s over is an understatement. I did enjoy meeting and talking to people who could understand how I feel, but I’ve had it hanging over me for so long because I’ve put it off so many times, and now it’s gone, it’s done and I never have to think about it again! PHEW!
The whole of yesterday was very exhausting. On the way there I had the bumpiest taxi ride in the world! I was being shaken around so much that by the end I didn’t know if I was going to throw up, pass out, or both! Luckily I managed not to do either, and almost fell out of the taxi when I got there. I felt so ill, I honestly didn’t know if I was going to be able to stay, but I had no way of getting home without going in another taxi, so I sat on a bench outside for 10 minutes, took some deep breaths which made me a bit better, and then went inside.
I didn’t say much during the session, I was too exhausted. They talked a lot of setbacks. There was a picture of a cliff, and someone at the bottom having fallen off, this represented a setback. Then there was a ladder reaching up the other side for the person to climb up to get out, each of the rungs was labelled with something that can help you overcome a setback. Things such as; rest, pacing, asking for help, saying no etc. I tried to explain how I felt my ladder was just getting longer and longer, and that I’m actual a lot further away from recovery than I was when this all started…but they just babbled on about how I needed to pace myself, and plan my activities. WHAT ACTIVITIES???? I CAN’T DO ANYTHING!
Sorry for negativity in this post, but I just needed to get it out of my system. It’s been stewing away inside me since yesterday, and as a result I didn’t sleep at all well last night. Anyway, like I said, it’s done now and I don’t have to think about it again. My sister’s coming home for tonight and tomorrow, so that’ll be nice.
Today I’ve mostly been in bed watching Roland Garros, trying to forget about yesterday. I’ve not been very successful yet, but I’ll let you know how it goes.