I’ve been absent for while, I know. I’m pretty sure I start every blog post with those words nowadays, but my energy is very limited as I’m sure everyone reading this will know, and I’ve had a lot of appointments the last couple of weeks, so I’ve not had any spare energy to do anything else.
Saying that, I’ve actually not been feeling too bad, although I only realised this yesterday! haha. I had a terrible nights sleep, full of nightmares (side effect of medication), and quite a bit of pain. I finally gave up any thought of sleep and lay in bed frustrated until my parents brought me in a cup of tea. I was frustrated because I had my first physiotherapy appointment that afternoon, and it always seems that I have my worst nights when I have to do stuff the next day.
I put off getting out of bed, because I knew I’d feel terrible, and sure enough I did feel pretty bad, feverish, nauseous, light headed, muscle pain and so so tired, BUT…I didn’t feel quite as bed as I was expecting. I had the energy to put make up on, which used to be impossible as getting dressed and leaving the house took all my energy. When I was in the waiting room I didn’t have paralysing anxiety, I actually felt okay (which is unheard of when it comes to doctors/hospital appointments).
When I was back home and tucked up in bed with a much needed cup of tea, I started thinking. I had a terrible nights sleep and I still managed to leave the house, I put on makeup, hell I even took a selfie, that’s how confident I was feeling! Yes I still felt bad, but it wasn’t that long ago that I would feel this way even when I’d managed to have a decent nights sleep. It wasn’t that long ago that I felt this way all the time…so that must mean… I’m feeling a bit…better??
Even today, although I’m feeling extra tired because I did so much yesterday, I don’t think I’m feeling as bad as before. Think being the operative word there. I found all this hard to write for two reasons; firstly, as you know I’m very against getting my hopes up, and secondly I find it very hard to see the big picture and notice small changes (good or bad) because I’m so in the midst of it all, it’s nearly impossible to get any perspective.
Hopefully, this good phase will continue, and I’ll be able to get back into a bit more of a regular posting schedule.
Until next time, Rhosyn.